“I’m fine, I just need a drink.”
It’s a line we hear often. Maybe you’ve said it yourself.
In a culture where drinking is social, normalised, and even celebrated, it’s easy to miss the early signs that alcohol use might be shifting from casual to harmful. There’s no flashing warning light. No dramatic collapse. Just a slow slide into dependence that can affect our sleep, mood, relationships, and ability to cope with stress.
So how do we know when drinking becomes a problem? And why is it so hard to talk about?
Let’s explore the signs, the stigma, and the silence that keep people from getting the help they need.
The Subtle Signs of Harmful Alcohol Use
Harmful alcohol use doesn’t always look like an addiction. Often, it looks like:
Using alcohol to manage emotions (stress, anxiety, sadness)
Drinking more often than intended or feeling unable to cut back
Struggling with sleep, low energy, or mood swings
Increased tolerance and needing more to feel the same effect
Feeling guilty or secretive about how much you're drinking
These signs might not scream “problem” but they’re worth paying attention to. Harm can exist long before addiction.
The Role of Stigma
One of the biggest barriers to addressing harmful drinking is the stigma.
We’ve created a mental image of what “problem drinking” looks like, and most people don’t see themselves in it. They’re holding down jobs, raising families, and achieving goals. And that becomes the reason they don’t ask for help.
But alcohol use exists on a spectrum, and many people are in the “grey area” not dependent, but not entirely in control either.
The stigma says: “If I admit this, I’ll be judged.”
The truth is: “If I admit this, I can get support.”
Why We Stay Silent
There’s often a deep shame tied to struggling with alcohol especially for people who are seen as “strong,” “in control,” or “successful.” That silence is reinforced by workplace culture, societal norms, and the belief that asking for help is a weakness.
But silence is isolating and when we can’t talk about it, we can’t heal from it.
Creating space for honest, judgment-free conversations is key to prevention and support. We need to normalise checking in with ourselves and others and not waiting for a crisis to take action.
What You Can Do
Self-check: Ask yourself honestly if drinking is helping or harming my wellbeing?
Talk: Open up to someone you trust. You’re not alone.
Explore healthier coping strategies: Exercise, therapy, connection, mindfulness; they can all offer real relief.
Challenge stigma: At work, in social circles, and in yourself. Be a voice for openness.
You don’t need to hit rock bottom to take a closer look at your relationship with alcohol.
You don’t need a label to deserve support.
And you don’t need to stay silent to stay strong.
There’s no shame in asking:
Is this still working for me, or is it time for a change?
These are some other organisations that offer support:
Recovery Steps Cumbria
Across Cumbria | 01900 512 300
Offering confidential support, one-to-one help, and group sessions.
CADAS (Cumbria Addictions Advice and Solutions)
Multiple locations | 0300 111 4002
Support for individuals and families, including recovery coaching and peer support.
AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) Cumbria
Meetings throughout the week across the county.
Find a meeting near you: